It’s Pride Month! 🌈 For the whole of June we are celebrating all the amazing LGBTQ+ parents out there by sharing their parenting journeys and donating a percentage of sales to Stonewall charity. Thank you sharing their stories with us 💖
Tell us about your parenting journey.
Myself and Zaynah have been dating since secondary school, 17 years later we are still going strong. We always knew that we wanted a home, marriage and a large family which we knew wouldn’t happen overnight. We started private fertility treatment just after we got married in 2016 with myself (Laura) having multiple IUI treatments, with no luck. We were then lucky enough to be offered IVF on the NHS, we then got to pick our donor from a registered Sperm bank based on characteristics, personality, family, job etc. Thankfully after gruelling treatment we fell pregnant, I had an amazing pregnancy and had Winnie our beautiful first daughter who is four.
We then tried private treatment for Zaynah, starting 2019 we were told IVF would be our best option. Zaynah had two stressful IVF attempts one negative pregnancy and sadly one miscarriage, we found this so hard to take as I think we assumed naively it would work first time given it had with me. We then tried again a third time this time with a frozen transfer as so many of Zaynah’s eggs fertilised. We were so happy to find out that Zaynah was pregnant, after another fabulous pregnancy our second beautiful baby girl Remy who is one was born. Our girls both have the same donor which is so special to us, and although biologically different mums they are our own by love. We can’t wait to expand our family further hopefully sometime soon!
What is the best piece of advice you have been given along the way?
The best advice we have ever been given is you know your baby best. It’s so easy for other parents to offer advice most from a really good place but as a first-time mum with there being so many rules of what your meant to do and not meant to do, it’s hard enough learning how to parent. There is no being a parent for dummies unless I have missed that book, but trust your instinct, do what’s right for you, your baby and your family and everything will turn out the way it should. Also, to enjoy the moment as honestly it goes so fast, I feel like only yesterday we had Winnie and now she is nearly five which makes me want to cry!
Share a reality of parenthood that you were not prepared for.
We weren’t prepared that you can never quite switch off from being a parent. Even though we both work professional jobs or spend time with friends to have time away from our kids, it’s so hard to forget the little things. For example, worrying that they had a good day at school, whether they are poorly, went to bed ok, slept well, ate ok. You can’t switch off the worries you have as a parent even when you know they are completely fine if not loving time away from you.
Tell us your parenting resources/ support you’ve picked up along the way (support groups, consultants, bloggers, family, friends etc).
When we started IVF there was no support groups in our area, which we found so lonely. So we reached out to so many people on Instagram to form a community and made a page on Instagram as a way to feel less secluded. We wanted to make other mum friends along the way because parenting can be so lonely. Luckily, we also have a good home support system from family and friends who have gave advice, cared for our children and loved our children like their own. We attend baby classes weekly to mix with new friends with babies of similar ages and to socialise with other parents.
We are so lucky to have our two wonderful girls, and know how stressful, exciting and beautiful the journey to parenthood can be. For anyone starting treatment or needing any advice we’re always open for a chat!
Thank you Laura and Zaynah 🥰 Click here to follow the lovely @winniemaiya journey on Instagram.
Tell us about your parenting journey.
Since having Hugo I can honestly say our life has changed forever and most definitely for the best. We of course have to admit since becoming parents our lives have become very chaotic from the early morning nursery drop offs and rushing to catch the last train to be in in time for work. But would we change it? NOT A CHANCE! With a second child on the way shortly we absolutely welcome the chaos.
What is the best piece of advice you have been given along the way?
Our best piece of advice we have been given to date would be to not be too hard on yourselves.You may not be on top of everything in your life and that’s definitely ok.
Share a reality of parenthood that you were not prepared for.
The thing I would say we weren’t prepared for in parenthood, would be the constant mess. Before having kids you think ‘it can’t be that hard to keep on top of surely?!’ That’s when reality hits and the mountain of toys and washing never ends!
Tell us your parenting resources/ support you’ve picked up along the way (support groups, consultants, bloggers, family, friends etc).
Social media for us has personally been a godsend. We have met so many amazing people through Instagram, ranging from paramedics & doctors, sleep consultants, parents (the real hero’s) etc. We also found that keeping Hugo in a routine even from the early months of his life, by going to play groups and meeting other parents with kids Hugo’s age gave you a sense of comfort so you knew ‘okay, I’m doing just fine’.
Thank you Thomas and Reece 💌 Click here to follow the lovely @thetatamfamily journey on Instagram.
Tell us about your parenting journey.
We knew from the early days of our relationship that we both wanted children. Being two women, we knew this journey wouldn’t be easy so we started our journey pretty early on - I’m glad we did as it was another 18 months of appointments before we finally got pregnant! It was quite a journey - with two failed attempts at IUI, we moved to IVF and I got pregnant with our first child, Violet. IVF is an intense process and an emotional rollercoaster - I’m not sure how we did it at the time, or how we managed to get pregnant AGAIN only 8 months later with Pearl, but we did. Pearl was our little frozen embryo from the same cycle. Two-under-two was SO hard, but I’m glad it happened this way as our girls are now so close. Violet is now 6 and Pearl is 4.
What is the best piece of advice you have been given along the way?
You know your own child best, so follow your intuition with them. What might suit one child, might not work for another, so just do what feels right for you and your family.
Share a reality of parenthood that you were not prepared for.
The relentlessness of it all - it’s utterly exhausting but of course all SO worth it! It’s so important to try and carve out time for yourself, even if it’s only just a few minutes...and that you will order so many Amazon/online shopping orders during night feeds. It’s a think!
Tell us your parenting resources/ support you’ve picked up along the way (support groups, consultants, bloggers, family, friends etc).
I found connecting with other parents with children of similar age really helpful, we joined a parenting class with our first baby and our local Rainbow families group (LGBTQ parents). Those whatsapp groups would be chatting at all hours of the day! I also found a huge community of parents on Instagram a lot of them I still chat to now. Don’t be scared to reach out or go to groups - I wish I had been more confident at this looking back!
Thank you Lyndsay 💖 Click here to follow the lovely @lyndsay.and.the.girls journey on Instagram and follow their Tik Tok here.
Image by Freepik
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